The Circumference of Hobbiton
by Aria Breuer
Summary: "Mr. Baggins!" announced his teacher, profusely. "Now pay attention. What is the circumference of Hobbiton?" "Three squares away from lunch," Frodo said, chipper. A bunch of girls giggled in the background. He blushed. "Well, it's true." Featuring Frodo, Merry, Legolas, Gimli, Sam, and Pippin.


**Disclaimers:** I do not own _The Lord of the Rings_. J.R.R. Tolkien does.

*.*.*

This has to be one tough clichés to tackle, perhaps because we're so familiar with this setting and these types of stories. It wasn't easy to tackle. Once I got going, I couldn't stop writing. And yes, I did get ideas from listening and watching high school, as well as college, movies and musicals. As usual, I'm going to make this story as realistic as possible. Let's see where it goes, shall we? :)

*.*.*

This was one of the worst ideas he ever had. For Frodo Baggins, whose curly mess of brown hair tussled in the wind, going to school meant facing the facts. He… well, he loved researching dwarves and elves, and yet he was a hobbit. The only other hobbit to pick on him was Lotho Sackville-Baggins, an overly obsessive, proper hobbit with enough disdain for Frodo. But that was not the worst thing to happen in class. Why did his parents send him to this school? He wasn't learning anything…

"Mr. Baggins!" announced his teacher, profusely. She was a hobbitess with blonde hair that stuck up all over the place. She slammed her ruler down on his desk. "Now pay attention. What is the circumference of Hobbiton?"

"Three squares away from lunch," Frodo said, chipper. A bunch of girls giggled in the background. He blushed, unable to control himself. "Well, it's true."

"That's not funny, Mr. Baggins." His teacher resumed the lesson. "Now, the circumference of Hobbiton is…"

"The Party Tree," Samwise Gamgee said. He was a sandy-haired hobbit, who smirked at the sight of one girl: Rosie Cotton.

"Does no one know the circumference of Hobbiton?" their teacher asked.

"Does it revolve around you?" Merry Brandybuck asked, jokingly. He was a brown-haired hobbit who preferred maps and horses to his studies.

"You have detention for ten weeks, Mr. Brandybuck," their teacher said. "One more insensible outburst and I'll put each and every one of you in detention."

"Miss, I'm sure Merry has an apology he liked to make," Frodo said.

"I'm sorry, Miss Hatcher," Merry said.

"You still have detention," Miss Hatcher said.

Merry sagged in his seat. Frodo wanted to help, but then his cousin did make a rude comment. If only there was something they could do….

DONG! DONG!

"That's the bell," Miss Hatcher said. "Have a good day."

Frodo stood up, grabbed his books, and headed out to the white walled hallway. Already, his insides ached. The day grew longer. Wait… what did he need to do again?

"Mr. Frodo," Sam said, getting Frodo's attention, "don't you have theater next?"

"Afterschool Sam," Frodo said.

"It is afterschool," Merry said. "And I have detention. I'll see you later." He ran off.

"Right," Pippin Took said, following his friends out the front doors. He was a golden-haired hobbit, who enjoyed spending time with Merry, Frodo and Sam. He told Frodo and Sam, "Well, that wasn't so hard."

"Just what was the circumference of Hobbiton?" Frodo asked, confused.

"The circumference of Hobbiton is the Three-Farthing Stone, connecting the corners of the Shire," Lotho announced.

"Lotho!" Sam was stunned. "Why didn't you say that in class?"

"I didn't want to look like a loser!" Lotho said, shrugging his shoulders. "Although, I do hope Merry Brandybuck has learned his lesson."

"I'm sure he will!" Pippin said, smirking.

"Indeed." Frodo said. He turned to his friends, sighing. "I'll see you later."

"And don't let me catch you following me, Frodo. It'll be your last." Lotho said.

"As always, Lotho," Frodo said, bowing. He rushed into the dimly lit auditorium, complete with its red cushioned chairs and wooden stage, complete with ivory red curtains. There, Frodo found the drama club had just started. "I'm here."

"Good." The drama club instructor, a middle-aged woman with grey hair and a serious look on her face, said. "Then let's get started."

"Right." Frodo said, clearing his throat. He looked around. There weren't just hobbits here, but also dwarves and elves. Just what he needed today: competition.

"I'm the best dwarf in town!" Gimli, an auburn-haired dwarf, told the dark-haired elven princeling Legolas.

"If you are the best, then prove it, dwarf. Make those candles sing," Legolas said, waving his hands in the air. That did not stagger his perturbed annoyance for the dwarf. "How did I end up taking drama club with you?"

"Oh, there's Frodo. Hello!" Gimli said, waving Frodo over.

"This time, please don't light the candles." Frodo said, warning. "We wouldn't want another fire."

"Who says we'll burn candles?" Gimli said, appalled.

Legolas slapped his forehead. "You're serious?"

"No burning candles!" The drama teacher said, slamming her pen down on the clipboard.

"Oh. But that's no fun!" Gimli said, sagging his shoulders in despair.

"We've got to prepare for tonight." Legolas said, crossing his arms.

"Good. Then you're the spear carrier!" The drama instructor said, tossing a long wooden spear to the elf. "Tonight, we'll do Hamlet."

There were a lot of groans coming from the boys. Even some of the girls were iffy about performing Hamlet. Frodo exhaled. Well, if the play called for it, then he would do it. He just hoped the drama instructor knew what she was doing.

.

The play began. There was the Fellowship, presented to the audience. Legolas was a spear carrier. Frodo would have laughed, but he got the lead role. He nearly stumbled on his lines in the process, but at least it wasn't as bad as Legolas and Gimli fighting over who was the better spear carrier.

The good news was, Merry would get out of detention… only to end up in detention again, due to his stunt in the chemistry lab. Oh, it was the life of a hobbit. Frodo hoped his cousin wouldn't get into any more trouble, but he doubted it. He just hoped that the rest of the school year came out with a bang. Otherwise, it was just another day in the life of a hobbit.

The End.

Merry tapped his pencil against the desk's wood surface. How long would this detention last? Did he deserve such a feat?

"Time's up!" The detention instructor said, checking his watch. He was a burly-haired gentle-hobbit with a talent for keeping students in line. "You're free to go."

"Yes!" Merry stood up, departing the classroom. He saluted to the detention instructor on his way out. "I'll see you later." He rushed out of the classroom. Yes! He was free. Now what could he do? Pippin? Oh, Pippin loved a good prank, and he felt sure this new prank would give him and his cousins something to look forward to. In the end, they defeated Lotho and made their lives better in the process. He couldn't have asked for a better day than this one.

*.*.*

Thanks for reading. :)


End file.
